Living through the pandemic will have presented us all with challenges but it may have also created an opportunity to reflect on our lives and how we want to live them.
So how do we make sure we hold on to these important lessons and embed them into our daily lives?
"How to Build a Life" - is a brilliant column by Arthur C. Brooks in The Atlantic. This week he talks about the 'Once-in-a-Lifetime Chance to Start Over' and how we can prepare for a better normal.
Arthur recommends drawing a matrix and reflecting on the things we like and dislike from our pre pandemic and pandemic lives. And then making a plan for what we'll keep and what we'll leave behind.
I really liked this idea. I made a matrix for anyone who wants to give it a go...
Wellbeing in the garden
Lessons from my garden
I found the winter hard. I desperately missed my friends and family. Although I still had virtual contact with them, I missed being WITH them.
For Christmas my family gifted me some gardening gloves. At first, I thought they were paddle boarding gloves. I’ve always loved nature, but my relationship with nature has largely been running, hiking, paddling, climbing...going out to play in nature.
I’d spent very little time tending to my own garden. It always seemed like the sort of garden that took care of itself.
As I immersed myself in the research exploring how nature benefits our mental health - I also put on my gardening gloves and started to take a bit more care of my garden.
One day I sent my Mum a photo of an unfamiliar stem sprouting up. My text read
“Is this a weed?”
Her reply
“A weed is anything growing in a place where you don’t want it to grow.”
I thought about that for a while. The garden offers so many great metaphors for our mind. Sometimes we have to weed out some of our unhelpful thoughts, to nurture the ones we want to grow.
I’m still a novice when it comes to gardening. But at the start of a very busy week talking about mental health, I decided to spend just a couple of minutes pulling weeds from my garden.
Kindness and Football
Dr Hazel Harrison, founder of ThinkAvellana, supports Premier League’s Wellbeing Stars project.
https://www.premierleague.com/news/2080395
Navigating New Challenges
Aritcle orginally published Prep School magazine - Autumn 2020
Resilience - self-awareness
One important aspect of building resilience is enhancing our self awareness including using the 'hot cross bun' to explore our thoughts, feelings and behaviours and remembering that thoughts are not facts.
Resilience - mental agility
Over the next few weeks, I’m sharing some tools for enhancing resilience - our ability to bounce from adversity . Resilience is not about being “happy” all the time. Nor is it about having to “grin and bear it”. Resilience is a skill we can develop that enables us to change our thoughts and behaviours and learn from difficult experiences. Today, I’m talking about ideas for enhancing mental agility, including seeing things from perspectives and being willing to try new strategies.
Kindness - Mental Health Awareness Week
This week is Mental Health Awareness Week, and the theme this year is KINDNESS. Kindness can help reduce our stress and anxiety, it can make us feel less isolated and closer to others. Kindness can also help to boost our sense of meaning and purpose in our day. So, if you can, join in with the ripple of kindness this week and make someone else feel appreciated, loved or nurtured by your acts of kindness.
Children's Wellbeing During Lockdown
I’ve been working with Motion Alley to create short animations called “Life In Lockdown” to help explore wellbeing themes with children.
Here’s Episode One, where I talk to SK8TR Boy about the things he’s missing and how he’s using his imagination to help him.
In Episode Two, Rainbow Girl tells us why it’s good to find ways to express your emotions.
Five ways to support children’s mental health
Here’s an article I wrote recently for the BBC about simple ways families can take care of their wellbeing.
Missing the small moments of connection
Why those small moments of connection in your day matter. And how we can continue to connect AND put some boundaries around our technology use.
Here’s Gillian’s article -
Lockdown is not a competition
Accomplishment is important for our wellbeing. But that doesn't mean comparing ourselves with others or turning lockdown into a competition. Sometimes, our accomplishments will be the small steps we've taken to make it through the day.
What if? to What is?
If your mind starts to spiral with negative thoughts about the future, one way you can try to help yourself is to shift from 'what if' to 'what is'.
There are lots of other helpful self compassion ideas in Dr Eithne Hunt's article - https://thriveglobal.com/stories/keeping-it-together-when-it-feels-like-things-are-falling-apart/
Finding your flow
Being in a state of "flow" (a theory developed by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi) can be really good for your wellbeing and allows your brain to move into a different way of functioning. When in flow, we usually lose a sense of time and feel fully engaged in the activity we're doing. Some people find it in music, sport, gaming, gardening, dancing, cooking, drawing...(the list is endless)
Where do you find your flow?
Control the controllables!
The lockdown might be more like a marathon and less like a sprint. So it's important we use our energy wisely and know what it's worth us focusing our attention on. Here's a simple activity you can try to help you decide where to invest your emotional / physical energy.
An attitude for gratitude?
We need all our emotions. Sometimes it can be helpful to consciously find the balance, especially if negative emotions threaten to overwhelm us. One way we can do this is by focusing on the things we are grateful for. This isn't in any way to diminish the sadness or seriousness of the current situation. It's about giving ourselves a chance to notice that there are still good things in our lives.
The parenting juggle in lockdown - letting go of perfect
Juggling too many roles can make us feel like we're not really doing anything very well. But you can focus on the things that are working, lower your expectations and let go of 'perfect'.
Stress mindset or challenge mindset?
Our stress response can help give us energy to rise to new challenges and harness our strengths. What strengths do you have that will help you in the days ahead?
Mental health and the coronavirus: Parents and home schooling
One for parents preparing for home learning:
- there is no one right way to do this
- be flexible and find what works for your family
- be willing to fail and learn together
- give each other some space
- breathe
Mental health and the coronavirus: Relationships - social distancing or social connection at a distance?
Mental health and the coronavirus: Be kind to yourself and ground yourself in the things that won't change.
I’ve started a series of video posts to share a few ideas that may help us all over the coming weeks to take care of our mental health.